So we meet again

It was that one evening on 31 Aug 2018 that I had the sudden urge to stalk you (yes I admit I did, kena laaa), and against my better judgement I sent you a message on IG.

Days went by, my mind cluttered with work I didn't really think about the message. Looking back, maybe I was hoping you'd respond, but I was so determined to not care 😅

Lo and behold, you responded when I was in DoubleTree on 17 Sept 2018, the night before one of the most stressful event I was doing that month. Your nonchalant response kinda threw me off lol, I decided to not reply til the next day.

Once Day 1 was over and I was back in my room, I checked-in with myself; how did I feel when you replied? Was I excited? Cautious? Indifferent? I couldn't really figure it out at the time, but I went with the safest route by replying nonchalantly too. But your last sentence before we went on WhatsApp threw me off again lol (cue "fuck am I in trouble").

I can say the rest is history, but that'll make this blog boring la kan 😅

One thing's for sure, it was extremely difficult to not talk to you once we started. And that got me thinking - what if I didn't have a wedding to prepare for, no freaking dress to fit in? How would our conversation be? You won't be my personal coach that's that's sure hahaha! Unless I suddenly have the urge to be fit which was very unlikely 🤣

Even in the first few weeks, I was quite hesitant to reply you cepat2 - I'd wait a few hours, or maybe towards the end of the day je I will reply. Also cuz at the time I tend to not reply messages so fast jugak la.

But ok, on a serious note, even after our initial conversation and being my online coach (sampai takleh tido malam sebab konfusi, you were so nice and made me so motivated to get into that dem dress), I never thought you'd fall into the "Oh hey would you like to teman me at my best friend's wedding?" trap. For that whole period, I really have Ain to thank me cuz, first of all, if i don't have that dress to fit in, I don't think I would've been so gung-ho to workout; and secondly, she provided the trap (yes she's the evil one but thank god she told me to). Everything that came after that was just pure universe magic la. Nothing made sense no matter how many times I think of how everything fell into place so perfectly.

Yea we had a lot of tough discussions even in the beginning, but it just felt so right that I knew you were the one. I was scared shitless of course, dah la I made a declaration that the male species is banned from my life masa tu hahaha.

I could remember how difficult my life was at the time. With work and life screwing me over, I don't think I could've survived without you.

Who would've thought that nerdy Hanna would end up with superstar Ted? Somehow I still ask this question to myself even now, it's just too surreal for me to comprehend given how our world was completely different dulu.

I never thought I would be scared of anything anymore since I met you. But I also realise that being with you made me have one of the biggest fear - the fear of losing you. I'm well aware of my shortcomings, and the challenges we face as a couple. So day by day I try to make sure you see how much I truly value you not just as my sayang, but my life partner.

I hope to use this platform to randomly share my thoughts and discoveries with you, in a way, you might find out more about how I truly feel (what to do, my brain works in mysterious ways). Keeps our relationship fresh too eh hehe.

I love you so much sayang. I say this everyday, but it's a different kinda love every time :)

p/s: sorry if ada typo - don't be a grammar nazi plis.